There are only 2 types of men – the available and the unavailable. Men pulling away from good women has been such a heated common topic raised among women in the 21st century and me, neither was spared from such fate as well.
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The TOP Reasons Why Men Pull Away From Good Women is going to be shocking for you because the answer you be getting is something that is so commonly seen in our daily lives and yet, no one ever even think about or realised about it!
See, it’s pretty straight-forward. Men are hunters by nature. They want a challenge, a stimulator something that will make them feel that they have won and yet need to guard against his possession. He adores his prize so much that he wouldn’t want to give it up and will defend to the best of his abilities to keep his possession safe so that only him and ONLY HIM has access to it. The ‘possession’ I’m talking about here, is YOU!
So Why Men Pull Away?
Because they no longer recognise a challenge or something has changed from what he has experienced in the beginning…
In the dating world, I often see that one of the biggest reasons men pull away from good women is that the woman they used to date few months ago, is now seem to be less challenging for him.. All of a sudden you sense that he is distancing you.. You felt that his eyes wander and he turned cold to your affections. He paid less attention to you and the messages are lesser than usual, sometimes, taking him hours and days to reply. The intimacy gets lesser and at times it is only to his convenient that he pops up to your place to show his affections.. You felt that you are losing control and fearful of losing the man you met few months ago. But where was the man you met back then? This current one isn’t the one you have signed up for?! He is totally different from where he started!
Why? Simple.. When you fall in love with a guy, you would expect him to stay the same. Calling and messaging you like how he used to be when you guys just started.. Giving you sweet attention just like the first 10 dates.. Him being so thoughtful when you both first met and showering you with gifts and kisses. How blissful and lovely! Awwww and OUCH! But it all started to change in just 2-3 months later.
Let me break it down into 5 BIGGEST REASONS WHY MEN PULL AWAY FROM GOOD WOMEN (like you) and 3 BIGGEST REMEDIES to reverse the situation!
5 BIGGEST REASONS WHY MEN PULL AWAY FROM WOMEN THEY LOVE:
- You are not being you: When a woman falls in love, she will go head over heels and try her very best to impress the man she loves. Well, that makes sense. But when it gets to a point that you start to become UNAUTHENTIC that’s where you’ll lose him.. Man can sense that you are no longer yourself. If he knows that you are no longer who you are from the day you started with him, and trying too hard to impress him, he won’t be thrilled. Trust me, I’ve spoken to hundreds and thousands of men when it comes to their relationship matters, I totally can tell you it is very important to be yourself! He wants the girl he saw in the first few dates before he got you, but somewhere along the way, the tables are turned and you could be the one chasing him more than he is chasing you my dear lady… I have seen so many female clients before coming to me, told me that they started learning cooking and trying their best to impress the man they love, buying the sexiest smelling perfume and dolling up for him and always looking fabulous when they are together. What a guy wants is to have an authentic soul to speak with and to be with. If he loves you, he will love your everything. Build up a great character that will impress him, not just on your outer looks. It is at first the outer appearance that appealed to him, but it is the inner beauty that will make him stay!
- Trust his words when he says “I’m Not Ready”: There are many times you give in because you like him. You start settling and making excuses for his lazy or inappropriate behaviours. When he cancels on you: ‘Oh he could be tired from work’ or ‘Oh he has things to tend to’ – Hey! Aren’t you important too that he should put you as his priority? There are many times I see a woman dating a man, and he shows all the signs that he is not ready for a relationship with his behaviour and his words. Instead of pushing yourself towards him hoping that he’ll change his mind, the right thing to do in this situation is to introspect on your feelings. If you can control your feelings by maintaining a friendship, then go for it. (And I’m not talking about being “friends with benefits.”) Otherwise stay away as it will save you from future heartbreaks.. When a man said he isn’t ready, take his words for it and do not even try to change him. He has pre-warned you. You are a smart woman, you know how to cut your losses. There are much better available men somewhere than holding the straws for this unavailable one. He is being honest if he tells you he does not want a relationship, and you should honour his truth in telling you this. Not to mention, if he also gives you the popular one-liner by saying, “I’m just seeing where things go, let’s take things one step at a time,” proceed with caution. This is not a committed answer, so why would he want to commit to you? This is just an answer to warm you enough to keep you around and keeps you at arm’s length while he is in search of pleasure and attention elsewhere.
- He is overwhelmed and can’t process what he wants from the relationship: He has spent weeks and months of intensive dating on you and to this point that he suddenly realised, he has been neglecting all the things that he has on hand after he met you! He could be genuinely overwhelmed with focusing on just one thing and that’s you! He is doing the natural thing.. pulling back to assess the entire situation. He is evaluating between his freedom, and choosing over you. He could be in a dire dilemma right now. He likes you but at the same time, he could be scared and concern about whether he’d be losing himself after he has you. His friends, his routine, his freedom, he has too many to think about and scared to lose them all if he has you in the picture. He is pulling back to weigh things out! I know it sucks but this is the biggest reason he pulls back because he doesn’t know what to say to you until he is darn SO SURE about what he wants in the relationship before plunging in again..
- He is a PLAYER: It is not your fault to come across one as they are too manipulative and suave to have you detect him! If he is interested in having you as his girlfriend, he will show you with his actions. Be careful to never settle for a man that isn’t giving you 100% but is saying everything with his words. This is where a lot of women run into trouble. Pay attention to his actions more than his words. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning stages of dating. He wouldn’t bat an eyelid to convince you that he is in love and wants to make you his. Man has that natural hunting instinct so by default, anything new will just pumps up his adrenaline to want to have you. So many women fall for a man like this because we can be really blind and a hopeless romantic when in love! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “Wow he can really understand me and he is so different from the previous ones!” Right? In the end, it fizzles out as quickly as it began. The following is how you can identify a player and if more than 1/2 are true then this is it:
- Does he set or plan dates and then follow through consistenly?
- Does he take note of the things you tell him? Your likes and dislikes?
- Does he blow hot and cold and does his actions tally with his words?
- Does his phone go off often late at night?
- Do you go to his house often for sleepovers or does he properly date and court you?
- Does he still keep photos of different women on social media even when he’s already seeing you?
- Does he paint a picture that makes you want to get attached to him, and when that doesn’t happen you find yourself saying, “But he was so into me when we first started…What went wrong?”
- He might not be that into you – After weeks or months of dating, he realises that you both may not be sharing the same goal or heading towards the same directions he wanted. Probably he just want to focus on his career and marriage isn’t the topic and he wants to keep it casual but you prefer to have a monogamy relationship with more commitments from him. Or probably.. the feeling just waned off from his side.. Or maybe you were overly clingy and kept coming close to him without even him trying too hard to get you.. It was infatuation that he had with you and when the curtains are lifted, he finally come to his senses of how he felt.. I know this is a hard pill to swallow because honestly.. it is to no fault of yours..
Is he acting distant and pulling away all of a sudden? Crack his love language – starting from his zodiac sign!
3 BIGGEST REMEDIES to reverse the situation!
Now, if you follow these 3 simple steps, you could highly likely reverse the situation. Either way, the results will be beneficial for you. It is you whom I’m more concern about – your overall well-being and your heart so pay attention and follow what I’m about to share with you:
- The Rubber Band Theory: When he pulls away, you do that too. I know it is hard. Your heart is screaming your lungs can’t generate air and you feel so suffocated. You miss him so much I know! If you want things to change then you have to follow this biggest tip – GIVE HIM SPACE. Why do I call this a rubber band theory? The harder you pull him over despite he is on the opposite end trying to stay away, when the whole saga snappe, who hurts more? You won’t have the answer you need and yet most probably you are pushing him away from you. So I need you to give him the thinking space and while he takes time to sort out his thoughts, I want you to take this time to think about what do you really want and need in your relationship. Many women make the mistake by going to their men even more when he turned silent or cold or respond lesser. The more insecure you are, it will get projected onto him and in return pulling him away from you. Concentrate on your own growth and move forward with your personal goals. Take this time to do the things you didn’t have time to do and focus on building up a stronger self.
- Be clear about your expectations and your needs. What do you want in the first place in a relationship? If they aren’t met, then move on and see if he’ll ever come around… Because if he doesn’t, I am sure someone else will! So rather than wasting your time on the wrong man, why not take this time to build up yourself for the next better guy who would fit your description and treat you way better! The time you are taking away from him not only allow the both of you to think things through, for him to sort out whatever he needs to sort out, it also allows you to weigh in what are your priorities in a relationship and to prepare yourself to welcome the next better man in your life. I always think it’s vital to to be clear about each other’s expectations when it comes to dating even when the early stages of it. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen my women clients tearing up to me that after dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical relationship in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of losing him, hoping he would come around.
- You first need to become the person you want to attract in the relationship – You will have to establish your identity in the relationship. If you want a person who values trust and freedom in you then you have to honor that in him as well. If you want someone secure and loving in a relationship, you need to set an example as well. And of course if you want him to be honest and be transparent with you, you will also need to play the field levelly so that you can be open and not to display signs of passive-aggressiveness if he didn’t meet your standards. Communications are key and of course you are who you attract. So use this period of time to build up a stronger self and always remember, happiness doesn’t come from external source. You need to first become happy and love yourself before you can welcome and attract any happiness and love back into your life.
and….RELATIONSHIP ASTROLOGY has the answers to help you identify during early stages of dating, whether this is a relationship that’s worth investing of your time and love in.
Not all men are created equal. So if you have the insights to deepen the understanding of your man and to find out the dynamism between the energies you both play out in the relationship, that will save you tonnes of heartaches and make you realise what are needed to create a more fulfilling relationships between you and your special one.
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As always, I am always here to help. Comment below if you have specific questions and need advice. I will try my best to help.
Wishing you all the best in love,
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